Mr. Ketamine: How Elon Musk on Pills Reformed America

Most people who make it to the White House hope to leave their mark on history. Elon Musk, it seems, decided to leave not just a mark, but his fingerprints on the medicine cabinet for the especially gifted. While American taxpayers were counting the dollars saved by DOGE, Musk’s inner circle—anonymous sources with a note of anxiety in their voices—were counting the pills in the travel box of the head of the “Department of State Efficiency.”

According to a New York Times investigation, during his period of political hyperactivity—from generous donations to Trump’s campaign to leading government reform—Elon Musk was heavily and enthusiastically using ketamine, ecstasy, and psychedelic mushrooms. His medicine cabinet was a sight to behold, boasting about twenty pills of various effects, and his liver was put through daily endurance tests. Sometimes, sources say, his use reached the point where Musk developed bladder problems: reform is reform, but biology has its own demands.

Adding a special twist to the situation is Musk’s status as a “special government employee,” to whom federal drug rules apply with about as much attention as philosophical treatises on TikTok. However, the Trump administration sees no cause for concern: “Musk has done more for taxpayers than many politicians in their entire careers,” the White House press secretary cheerfully reported. Anything that harms corruption and bureaucracy is by default good for the country, even if it’s psychedelics.

SpaceX, by the way, requires employees to be completely “sober” at work—but as it turns out, Musk was always forewarned about any random tests. Probably out of respect for his authority, not his medicine cabinet.

Having completed his saga as the DOGE-leader, Musk left America with a new government structure and an old question: how realistic is it to reform a country when reality itself is rather elastic? Now Trump can add to his résumé: “Cut state spending, implemented DOGE, and expanded consciousness.” If you add to this the accusations of a “moral compass knocked completely askew,” as Musk’s former friend Sam Harris writes, it turns out that in the 21st century, the line between government innovation and a club party has become unexpectedly blurred. And not just thanks to ketamine.