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Zuckerberg Rides Scale AI into the Metaverse on a Skateboard: Now AI Will Like Your Lunches!

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28-year-old Alexandr Wang from MIT teleports to Meta to boost superintelligence and replace everyone with cats, while programmers brawl with journalists at the trampoline center.

Zuckerberg Rides Scale AI into the Metaverse on a Skateboard: Now AI Will Like Your Lunches!

Thought Zuckerberg had already bought everything on Earth, including your grandma? Not quite: there was still room in his bottomless basket for another “trifle” at $14.8 billion — 49% of Scale AI. The company was founded by Alexandr Wang, who left MIT so fast the university now calls him for advice, not the other way around.

Wang — Forbes’ darling and the stuff of futurists’ nightmares — officially became the youngest self-made billionaire in 2021. His parents, physicists from Los Alamos, just wanted their son not to play with uranium, but in five years he built an empire whose clients include the Pentagon, General Motors, OpenAI, and Uber. In Los Alamos, they make bombs; at Scale AI, they build platforms that lay people off faster than your mom can cut off the Wi-Fi.

Now Wang is swapping his hacker hoodie for a Meta corporate sweatshirt and heading up the lab for cultivating “superintelligence.” What does that even mean? Soon, Facebook will suggest friends before you even realize you’re alone, and your grandmas will get automatic likes on schedule.

Zuckerberg, collector of everything starting with “I” (Instagram, AI, illusions), is now thrilled: Meta doesn’t just have AI, but super-AI. What’s the difference? You’ll find out when Mark takes the stage at a conference as a bot entirely written in Python.

The internet is already nervous: how long will it take Wang to get Meta’s corporate chats generating memes on GPT-5, and for laid-off employees to send their résumés straight to a chatbot?

Good luck, Alexandr! May your artificial intelligence be at least five percent more humane than Facebook’s advertising algorithms.

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