London Calling: Uber Tests Taxis Without Drivers or Conscience

British roads are bracing for a new breed of phlegmatic Londoners: in 2025, Uber is launching tests of fully autonomous robotaxis in partnership with local techies from Wayve. Now, in London, you’ll be able to hail a car where the driver not only doesn’t complain about traffic—but doesn’t exist in physical form at all.

This innovation comes on the heels of yet another round of legislative gymnastics by British authorities. First, they promised to unleash cyber-cabbies in 2026, then postponed to 2027, and now there’s an “accelerated mode” for commercial services. Apparently, the goal is for London’s traffic jams to be sorted out by artificial intelligence before the government’s own artificial intelligence catches up.

It’s still unclear whether ordinary mortals will be able to use these robotaxis during the test phase. Uber swears they’ll add them to the app as soon as the latest bureaucratic labyrinth succumbs to the onslaught of progress.

Autonomous transport isn’t just trendy—it promises up to £42 billion for the economy and 38,000 new jobs. However, union representatives hint: who exactly will get these jobs—people or electric-powered chassis—is a philosophical question. It’s a storm for unemployment and socializing alike: after all, a robotaxi won’t chat about the weather, listen to your complaints about life, or share the latest political gossip.

Experts insist that autopilots are already racking up millions of kilometers in China, the UAE, and the US, and statistically get into accidents an order of magnitude less often than the average British gentleman behind the wheel. There are caveats, though: sometimes passengers have been forgotten inside, and after a series of fiascos in San Francisco, robotaxis were even sent on a forced vacation.

A BBC correspondent recently had the chance to try Wayve in action: 30 minutes around London without a single human emotion. The artificial intelligence was as cautious as a British tourist on a Naples highway. Even a pedestrian on crutches—came away unscathed. The ride was so well-mannered that for all 30 minutes, it felt like you were in a public service announcement about traffic rules.

Watch out, London cabbies! Artificial intelligence is already knocking at your door. Unless, of course, it’s delayed by a queue of cyclists, scooters, and another legislative initiative.