How to Make Money with Crypto Even If You Know Nothing (and Don’t Want To)

🪙 Chapter I. Crypto Is a Cult

If it feels like everyone around you has already made a ton of money with crypto, you’re right. That’s what they say in their stories.
And if you’re not in on it yet, don’t worry: they didn’t understand anything either. They just bought a meme coin, forgot the password—and got rich. That’s the strategy.

📉 Chapter II. Trading Is for Masochists

You thought trading was like playing Minesweeper, but for money? Almost.
You buy in at $40K—it drops to $25K. You sell—it jumps to $60K.
Add coffee, insomnia, “guru” signals, and you get the classic formula for “how to lose your apartment.”

Solution:

📛 Don’t trade.
✅ Go long-term.
💤 The perfect option: buy, fall asleep, wake up a millionaire. Or broke. But calm.

🪜 Chapter III. Steps for Beginners (The Ladder of Absurdity)

1. Downloaded Binance / Bybit / OKX—congrats, you’re 40% closer to losing your money.

2. Bought BTC or ETH—that’s fine. It’s like buying an apartment at the foundation stage.

3. Started staking—now you’re earning +4% per year, like a bank, but without insurance.

4. Installed Metamask—now you have a wallet. All that’s left is to put money in it. Good luck.

5. Bought a coin named DOGE, PEPE, or GRIMACE—you’re officially in crypto now.

🔐 Chapter IV. What Not to Fall For

• “Invest in a token that just launched!”—that’s called a rug pull, not an investment.

• “We have a course, only $200”—if they knew how to make money, they wouldn’t be selling a course.

• “Signals in Telegram”—90% of them just throw a coin in the chat so you’ll buy and the price goes up. Then they dump it on you.

💼 Chapter V. Can You Make Money Without Knowledge?

Yes. You can. But you won’t make much. You’ll just:

• buy bitcoin on a dip,

• not touch it for years,

• check it occasionally to complain.

Also:

• you can earn with crypto cards (spend = cashback in crypto),

• play P2E games where you farm coins for $0.0005 an hour,

• join a DAO—but no one knows why.

🧘 Chapter VI. How Not to Lose Your Mind

Crypto isn’t about “getting rich,” it’s about “not dying from panic.”

Your task:

• Don’t check the price every 30 minutes.

• Don’t sell when “everything crashes.”

• Don’t buy when “everyone’s buying.”

And most importantly—don’t fall for those who say “now is the best time.”

🧠 Epilogue: Who Makes Money in Crypto?

• Those who got in back in 2013.

• Exchanges—on fees.

• Bloggers—on views.

• You—not yet. But there’s a chance.

💡 Want to Start Small?

Buy $20 worth and forget about it. It’ll either be your best investment of the year, or your cheapest lesson in financial literacy.