Why Is Everyone Meditating, and When Will It Finally Stop?

🧘 Chapter I. Where Did We Get Enlightened?

You weren’t looking for zen. You just wanted to stop yelling at colleagues on Zoom.
But the algorithms served you a video called “How Meditation Changed My Life,” and now you’re sitting with your eyes closed, breathing in squares, listening to a man with a Siri voice telling you to be here and now.

Meditation has become the new normal.
If you don’t meditate—it’s suspicious.
If you meditate on the subway—you’re almost a saint.

☁️ Chapter II. Mindfulness as a Marketing Religion

People used to go to church.
Now—they go to Headspace.

Meditation in 2025:

• a paid subscription for silence;

• a $50 mat made from recycled clouds;

• an app that sends you push notifications: “Have you breathed today?”

The global mindfulness market is worth billions.
We pay to pause—and end up accelerating in the process.

🤯 Chapter III. Mindfulness Instead of Pills (But It Might Not Help)

Breathing instead of therapy.
Ten minutes of “body scan” instead of antidepressants.
The problem isn’t that it’s bad.
The problem is that it works... until you open Twitter.
Meditation is like a vegan lunch: looks good until someone starts arguing.

📈 Chapter IV. Why Everyone Started—and When They’ll Stop

Why they started:

• stress is the norm,

• therapy is expensive,

• meditation looks smart.

When it’ll end:

• when marketers move on to new trends: from “mindfulness” to “intuitive procrastination”;

• when people realize that breathing isn’t a strategy, it’s a reflex;

• when TikTok stops recommending “morning practices” at 5 a.m.

🧘‍♀️ Chapter V. Are You Meditating or Just Don’t Want to Talk?

Some people really benefit:

• they yell less,

• sleep better,

• don’t drunkenly buy a coffee grinder.

And then there are those who just added meditation to their to-do list and feel guilty, like skipping a dog walk.
These are the people who will eventually start taking “mindful breaks”—and never come back.

⚠️ Chapter VI. It’s Not Meditation That Heals—It’s Honesty

You can sit for 40 minutes with a straight back, but if you’re shouting at your mom on WhatsApp right after—something’s off.

Meditation isn’t the solution. It’s a pause.
Ideally—between two mindful decisions.
In reality—between two Glovo orders.

🧠 Epilogue: Exhaled?

Meditation isn’t a cure-all or an evil.
It’s like working out: it can help, if you actually do it and don’t just pretend.
But if the instructor’s voice annoys you more than the one in your head—maybe it’s not for you. And that’s okay.